I am almost positive that I have written about this before, but it’s been weighing heavy on my heart lately so I am going to say it again. Being a mom is hard. It’s the hardest job I have ever done. I am dead serious. As a mom, you are up before the sun. You are responsible for making sure tiny humans are fed, clothed, and clean. You are responsible for making sure your house is clean & presentable for surprise house guests. You are responsible for making sure your children and family get to experience all of the things. You are concerned about your children’s social life & if they have friends. As an adult, you are concerned about your own social life and making sure that you also still have friends because Lord knows that your friends are also mom’s and you only get to see them once in a blue moon. Making time is impossible, but sometimes you feel like you are wasting time. You want to be there for all the moments, but let’s face it, when your kids are all in school, there are going to be LOTS of scheduling conflicts. Basketball tournaments, volleyball camp, gymnastics, birthdays, sleepovers, t-ball, and the list goes on, and on, and on, AND ON. And who is responsible for keeping it all straight? Mom. And then try to work full time at another job on top of all of this? Yah, as a mom, it’s expected. If “Mom” isn’t an acceptable item on a resume nowadays, then what is? Nothing takes as much time, scheduling, planning, socializing, or effort as being a mom does. So if you can make being a mom work, it’s quite likely that you also are qualified to run a Fortune 500 company.

Ok, I may have exaggerated a little. But not much. Because any mom reading this right now would agree. It sucks the energy right out of you. It’s exhausting. And the world does not “approve” of mommy break downs. Which is a load of you know what. Because I would place quite a large bet to say that ALMOST every mom out there has A.) fantasized about a week or more long solo vacation, B.) dreamed of swapping places with someone else because we are so sure that their lives are “so much easier than our own” because they are always on time, always chaperoning field trips for what seems like ALL of their kids, always coaching their kids sports teams, always brings the best snacks, and I could probably go on & on on this one because I am definitely guilty of this one), or C.) has thought of what their life would have been life if they didn’t marry their boyfriend right out of college. Instead, they experienced so many more things. Used their passport more than twice. And went for their dreams, and AT LEAST got half way there before they even considered settling down. (Also guilty of this one). And just writing this down makes me feel awful that I have felt multiple of these ways in at least the last six months or so. I feel awful that I feel like motherhood has crippled me in some way. That it has held me back from landing amongst the stars. I really hope I am not alone in this, but at the same time, I feel like I am. Because it’s not talked about. Because then if we do, it seems like we are not grateful for our kids or our family, which couldn’t be further from the truth. My kids & husband have filled my life with love and laughs and experiences and happiness. And I quite honestly could not ask for more than that out of life. But it’s in the hard moments that we need to normalize “mommy break downs”, or it could honestly lead to so much more emotional pain, damages, and problems.

So I am just going to tell whoever needs to hear this today, you are not alone. I can’t do it all either. And I have days, like today, that I dream about a life without all the responsibilities that being a mom and wife comes with. I wonder where I would be. Who I would be. Would I still have two legs? Would I still be living so close to home? What my job would be? If offered to see what an alternate universe would be like as a non-mom, non-wife, dream chaser, I would most definitely deeply consider it. And that’s ok. Because emotion comes with the “mom” territory. The good, bad, and ugly of it all. And today just isn’t one of the good days. I could make it seem like it is by posting the perfect picture online and bragging about having a “girls night” followed by a smiley face emoji. It’s so easy to do that online. But I am not an “online only” kind of person. I am a person that shares what life as a one legged MOM is like. And today being a mom is harder than having one leg. So there you have it. My mommy melt down. And I really hope that I am not alone in this today, even though I am embarrassed that I am even feeling this way, much less writing a post about it. But I am also letting you know that it’s ok to not be the perfect mom. It’s ok to cry sometimes, even in front of your kids. It’s ok to yell back sometimes because you can’t take another melt down over not finding matching socks. IT IS OK TO BE HUMAN. And if you can’t relate to that, then I guess you are following the wrong blogger. Because I am exactly that. A flawed, tired, mother of three, wife of a farmer, beautiful mess of a human. And today just wasn’t my day. But I am rooting for tomorrow. And for today, that’s all I know.

Sending you all of my balance,

-The One Legged Mom

P.S. I also know that Dad’s are in the same boat as Mom’s a lot of the time. Being a Dad is just as hard. So please replace “mom” with “dad” as needed. Dad’s are super heroes without capes as well. And I know that it’s even more “not okay” for a Dad to have melt down. You’re a man, and men don’t cry. That’s a load of bull, and we both know it. Dad’s might process emotions differently than Mom’s, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have AWFUL days too. Nor does that mean that they never dream about an alternate universe where life is PROBABLY easier. So you go Dad. I know you are just trying to get through it all too. And I commend you for that.