When you hit a difficult patch in your life things just kind of come out of your mouth or pop into your mind that you never would have even dreamed about 10 years ago. Things like calling your insurance company over your poop bags (colostomy bags) to verify eligibility & getting mad because it’s not in network. Things like scoping out a church or wedding venue hours before it even starts to figure out the easiest & most unnoticeable entrance. Things like taking your child to their 3rd visit to a hospital or doctors appointment this week & realizing that your 13 old son has been to more appointments in the last 6 months than you’ve have in the last 16 years. Things that when you say them out loud you are baffled that you even have to worry about at the ripe old age of 27 or 37 or 87. Whatever the number, you feel like these things have grew into your life while you were so busy adapting to everything else getting thrown your way that when you do notice, you wonder how that even happened. You wonder how this became an everyday or every week routine. You wonder who this person staring back at you in the mirror is.

Sometimes you think “this is not my life”. Sometimes you wonder how you got from there to here & then wonder if life moves in reverse so you can have a shot at getting your old life back. Because your old life seemed to have been working out pretty well & this new one requires quite a bit of effort to get through the day. And I’m not just talking physical effort either. Because mental effort can wear you out even more than doing 10 full court sprints followed by leg day at the gym. You find yourself kind of hoping not to take a step forward because you think each step takes you further & further away from that life. But the truth is, this IS your life now. Right now. Today. And this is your opportunity to do something about it. To make a version of yourself that you’ll desire to be in 2 or 3 or 100 years from now after you hit & overcome your next rough patch. The version that you’ll want to go back in time to be again.

Life is never going to be predictable. No one is exempt from this statement. It’s going to be to be crazy & chaotic & colorful. You are going to feel some stuff in the pit of your stomach or in the tips of your toes after you think “this is not my life. This is not me”. And that’s ok. We all have them kind of days. But only think that thought for a brief moment or two because you need to realize God brought you where you are in this exact moment. He wants & loves you for the person you are today. Despite your imperfections or your need to do dressing & colostomy changes every night before bed. He gave you the day you had last week or last month or last year & the fight that you have deep within you to get back to that high point. And we are lucky. Sure you might be at a valley in your life & the views aren’t nearly as beautiful as when we are at a peak, but darkness has beauty too. Life. Is. Hard. You’ll always have frustrating moments. But take them in stride. Own your life. Don’t wonder who’s you are living because you don’t know how you got where you are today. Don’t think that this isn’t your life (ok. You can think it every once in awhile but only for a second until you pick yourself back up) because it is. And it’s your job to make it a good one. Collectively, big picture, or even a single moment. Make it awesome.

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