Another 4th of July has come & gone. We grilled out. We went camping, swimming & hiking. We attended parades & maybe drank one too many beers. We visited with friends & family. We might have even got burnt. And most importantly, we celebrated our Independence. Something that required quite a bit of fighting for. And obviously in a country perspective, it was well worth the fight. But in a personal perspective, gosh is it worth the fight too. Independence is something that we spend so many years as kids learning to obtain & pushing against our parents to get as soon as possible. And when we have it we never want to let it go. Unfortunately, independence is not something that is yours no matter what. We want it to be, but in the grand scheme of life, nothing is ever promised to be yours forever. It can happen, but it’s definitely not guaranteed.

After everything that went down with me losing my leg, I had lost more than the ability to walk. I had lost SO MUCH of my independence. I relied on doctors, nurses, aids, my husband, my parents, my brothers & sisters, my in-laws, my neighbors, friends, people in the community, and the list goes on. Things that I had gotten so good at doing by myself were now jobs that I had to ask for help doing. It ranged from driving me to appointments to going to the bathroom and, what felt like, every single thing in between. About the only things I didn’t need help doing was changing the tv channel & taking a nap. That small, not useful list of things I could do by myself angered me. Those things weren’t me. I used to be Josie. Do-er of all! I didn’t usually need to ask for help & if I didn’t know how to do something, I’d figure it out. And that’s exactly what I did on one leg too. I figured it out. I figured out that asking for help one day meant I would have 5 or 6 days of my new style of independence. I found that asking questions during PT/OT sessions would equip me with easier solutions to do everyday things. And while some may wonder why you would have to ask how to do something as simple as standing up or getting out of bed, it was necessary to gain my independence back. And slowly but surely, through all the “silly” questions & helping hand days, I did. The questions became less & less as I learned more and more about my new life. The days I ask for help (for things outside of being a parent. We all know we could always use a helping hand when it comes to our kids. 😂) are getting fewer and fewer. My new found independence was growing each and every day. I was turning into Josie again and I was so, so proud of that.

I know I didn’t gain my old life back. Of course I wouldn’t. I’m not the same person I was before. So that old life, as much as I loved it, probably wouldn’t fit me anymore. But I did gain my independence in this new life God has given me. And independence is always something worth fighting & working for. I discovered that with this independence comes new found ideas and realities. I realize I will never be able to go through life without ever asking for help again. I’m 100% sure it’s possible to do, but I just don’t want to. I’m ok with asking for help today in hopes it’ll gain me independence for a similar task tomorrow. I’m ok with asking that nice, tall teenager at the store to get me something off the top shelf instead of climbing up & embarrassing myself or rolling my one and only ankle. Take what you have in stride. Don’t jeopardize your independence because of pride. You should be proud that you were smart enough to ask for help when you needed it. Or you’ll be kicking yourself when you have to start from scratch again because of a box of rice that was on the top shelf. Independence is not yours for the taking. You have to earn it. And you might have to re-earn it again and again in your lifetime. So while you have it, enjoy it. Take care of it. And most importantly, always be ready to learn how to gain more.

#TheOneLeggedMommy #Independence #FourthOfJuly #HappyBirthdayAmerica #NecrotizingFasciitis #HipDisarticulation #AskForHelp #NoGuarantees #Amputee #Amputation #FreedomIsNotFree