So I read a blog article/Facebook post on one of my prayer pages on Monday that kind of really hit home for me. And it’s because I’ve been so frustrated with the even later than usual nights my husband has been putting in lately. And I know I shouldn’t be because I knowingly married a farmer. One that is a farmer through & through and there is very little that would ever change that. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a tiny bit jealous. I’m jealous of the wives or partners of the dads or husbands or boyfriends that get off work at 5 and the work (besides honey do lists or chores) is done till 8am that next day. I don’t know. I know that sounds shallow because growing up on a farm & all the knowledge & experiences that comes with it is wonderful. And I know that sounds naive because every couple has gives & takes & it doesn’t matter if there’s 300 calves involved of not. But hot dang would I be pleasantly surprised to come home to a load of laundry in the washer or a volunteer to change a babies diaper. Ok. Phew. Rant over.

I know that fall will be here before we know it & winter seems to come just as quick. And I know the golden rule of being a farmers wife & that is to make hay while the sun is shining (besides always shut the gate behind you of course). And putting the hours in in the warmth & sunshine is a whole heck of a lot better than pushing through the elements that come with the fall, winter & spring. I know that, but why is this frustration coming so easy? I truly don’t know. Because I know it’s not his fault. Calves need fed before he can even think about coming in the house for supper. Those little jobs need to be completed before it turns into one really big job that makes 10pm seem early. And I get that. So I need to take a step back & remember my vows. For richer or for poorer. In sickness & in health. In good times & in bad. And then realize there is no vow that says “to be in before 8pm or else”. That my husband might be the guy who wants to squeeze in one more job before the sun sets but he’s also the guy who makes sure I have easy access to wherever I want to go & always holds my walker while I climb into the car. I might not see him while the suns out for more than 20 minutes everyday but that should tell me a whole lot more about my husband than the dirty bottles in the sink or the no volunteering for the diaper that needs changing. Because that tells me I have a man who wants more for his wife. Who wants better for his children. And a man who would like to come in but can’t because he knows how important completing that “one more job” is. And that’s a man worth forgiving for all the late nights.

If you married a farmer you have heard the line, “after harvest I will be in earlier. Summer is just busy”. Which it his. Holy smokes it is and I don’t even have kids in stuff yet and it’s crazy. But the truth is, life’s always going to be busy. So we have to learn to enjoy every minute we get with each other. Even if it is for pretty much a total of 20 minutes intermittently throughout the day. So take a step back & hold off on the grilling you’re about to give the second he does come in the house. Because love is patient & love is kind. And don’t waste those 20 golden & rare minutes on being angry. I especially need to remember this. Because I know that my husband doesn’t see 1 legged woman or a wife that needs help getting stuff done in the house. And I should be so very honored. Because of that, I am very much so the person & mom I am today. So thank you, honey. I’ll see you at 10 tonight, smile in hand. And no grilling to offer. Tonight anyways.

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