Grief is a funny thing. As much as we all don’t want to admit it, we all have felt it. Various reasons & different situations, but it’s true, we all have. And it’s not that we don’t mind saying that we have shed a few tears or whatever, but because we hate to admit we have lost something so very close to us. A something we never wanted to or dreamed of losing. But what makes grief a funny thing is that it takes so many forms. Is that a grief perk or a “I am my own person” perk? I do not know. But I do know that on the outside looking in, we might not actually know if a person is grieving or not. Some people choose to smile in the hardest of moments. Some people cry while others get angry. There are people that laugh at funerals & there are people that say nothing at all. And honestly, we can’t say that one person is grieving more than another just because one person is crying while the other is smiling. Because like I said before, grief takes many forms.

I’ve had sad moments. Moments in which I have grieved the loss of my leg and the life I used to have. Moments of anger because I can’t go on a run on beautiful, warm summer mornings. But if you caught me in the grocery store during one of those moments I’m pretty sure you never would have guessed that that was how I truly was feeling. And while some may say that I was putting on an act or not being truthful to myself, I say that that was me grieving. Fine on the outside, crumbling on the inside. It’s how I get through tough stuff. I chew gum at funerals & bite my cheek when I feel like crying. There is something about those things helps keep my outside from looking like my insides some days. And that’s ok. Because that’s how I grieve. Because we must feel in order to be ourselves. And we must feel in order to be human. We might not look like we are feeling, but oh trust me, we are. Some days the grief is so bad that we don’t feel like we can even move. While other days it just kind of sits in the back of our head or in the pit of our stomach & it feels like an itch we just can not scratch. It nags us & nags us to the point where we can function but not without thinking about it while we should be focused on something else. Grief is a feeling that demands to be felt & we all feel it in our own ways.

There are days that we don’t feel like we are even human anymore. We go through the motions. We set ourselves on auto pilot and go through our days. And then life throws us a curve ball & all of a sudden we are reminded that we ARE human. We begin to feel all the feelings at once. And grief has a funny way of making us feel all those feelings at one time. We are thankful for the time we did have in our old lives or with the people we love. We are sad because we are going to miss our old life or an old friend. We are angry because of the “why me” or “why them” mentality. And the list goes on. Grief is not just sadness or anger. It’s a whole slew of emotions & when we are feeling it sometimes one of the many emotions we are feeling is the form of what grief looks like for us. Grief can be something that passes quickly or lasts forever. It can be something that you feel you have overcome but then one day be sucker punched by the thought. So go ahead and laugh at that funeral or be silent. Cry so hard that you can’t catch your breath or bite your cheek. Whatever it is, feel it & remember you are human. And most importantly, be slow to judge a person who is grieving. Because like I said, grief is a funny thing.

#TheOneLeggedMommy #GoodGrief #GreysThoughts #Amputee #Emotions #Amputation #NecrotizingFasciitis #FeelitAll #HipDisarticualtion