When is it better to not know vs knowing? Where does that line exist? If at all? I know people always say that knowledge is power, but eventually knowing too much can hurt your happiness. For example, would you ever want to know the exact year or exact date you are going to die? HELL NO! Because you’d rather wander around this earth not knowing then to be living in fear or dealing with the mental stress. Sure in the days, weeks, or years leading up to that specific date, you would live it up. But I know that living and living everyday like it’s your last are two totally different things. And how much regret would you carry with yourself that you didn’t live like that every single day because you actually knew when you’re last day was? So at this point you are probably thinking where I am going with this even though I am making a ton of sense. Am I right? I promise you that I’ll get to it here in a second.

Do you know how many times I have been asked if they ever found out how I contracted that ugly, flesh eating bug? Probably more times than I have been asked how I was doing and DEFINITELY more times than I’d like to know or admit. But my answer is always the same. They do not. All my doctors call it “The Perfect Storm” and that’s the only way they describe how I contracted it to me. Many of you are likely convinced it came from our calves because they were sick at the time or from my work place because hey, I did work at a hospital. And as much I could have asked my doctors and veterinarian to dig deeper and deeper into it, I am so glad I did not. Sure they ran the appropriate tests and did what they could to see if they could find a correlation, and I appreciated that, but I wasn’t going to benefit from it anymore. It wasn’t going to give me peace of mind. What if it did come from my work place? Was I just supposed to up & quit when I enjoyed the work I was doing so very much? What if it did come from the calves? Was I supposed to force my husband into giving it all up. Granted he would have, but that’s not what I wanted. All involved would have kept digging until I said stop, but my leg wasn’t going to grow back because I found the answer.

When you let go of finding answers, that’s when you get the real answer. When you stop obsessing over what was and start investing in your new life, that’s when you realize that knowing everything really isn’t important at all. All you really need to know in life is who & what. Who is there for you and what your next step is. You don’t need to know why. You don’t need to know how. And you definitely don’t need to know when. Not knowing keeps you happy a lot of the time. The world is full of scary. So why make yourself think about scary stuff when you’re not even sure it is going to happen? If ever! So stop wasting your valuable, God given time on things that are out of your control. All you really need to know is that you can handle this. The rest is just details. Dust in the rear view mirror and eyes on the prize. Know what you have to and be happy.

#TheOneLeggedMommy #NotACowBite #Amputee #Unknown #CaseClosed #NecrotizingFasciitis #HipDisarticulation #Happiness #KnowledgeIsNotPowerThisTime