When you go through something hard, you develop a small saying that helps describe how you’re doing. It’s not necessarily always accurate, but it’s a phrase you find yourself saying often. “Ok”. “Can’t complain”. “A little better everyday”. The options are endless. Mine was “pretty ok” and it was true for the most part. Of course I wasn’t great. I just lost a leg. But that doesn’t mean I was sad, unhappy or even mad. And I think a lot of people can vouch for this statement and feelings after going through their own tough situation. Not great but not mad. “Pretty ok” suits that middle ground pretty good. But this post really isn’t about my feelings post amp, but more or less about the phrase itself. (Ok. All my posts are about my thoughts & feelings, but you’ll see what I mean in a second). About why we/I developed that quick little go to. About how it makes your life a bit easier despite the hardness of the situation.

I’m not sure if we say those things to try to ward off any more sympathy than we are already receiving or to ward off the boat load of questions if we gave a truly honest response to how we are feeling after we go through something hard. Questions about the hard doesn’t make it any less hard. Sympathy is nice when you’re in the midst of a tough situation, but sympathy when you’re starting to finally come out of a rough patch makes you feel like you’re still in the middle of it. I’m not saying that having sympathy & compassion for another human is a bad thing, but sympathy eyes give off a pretty similar feeling to the wondering stares. If that makes any sense? So you come up with your quick go to phrase to quickly give comfort to those asking and gives a good Segway into asking something about them. And in all honesty, that little phrase, if said enough, tricks your brain into thinking it’s true, that you are fine, whether you actually are or not. So it not only provides comfort to others, but, in a way, to yourself as well.

Now this isn’t saying you should brain wash yourself into thinking you are ok when you are not. Mental health is critical post rough patches and you need to let your true feelings out at least once in order to actually heal mentally. But pouring your heart out day in and day out to random strangers at your local grocery store isn’t going to heal you either. In fact, it could just keep opening that scab of a situation causing it to hurt and bleed all over again. And that’s not what most people want after a hard moment in their lives. Most want to go through it with as little pain & suffering as humanly possible. To heal in private, whether it’s mentally, physically or both. To learn and develop a new sense of compassion from it. And to move on. Besides, just because they look different on the outside doesn’t mean they are still sick or hurting. Whether that means no hair, or missing a limb, or coming down the mountain without out one of your traveling partners. And because time heals most wounds in it’s own way, you come to peace with whatever way you heal up even if that means big scars and pieces not put back exactly as they were before. And just because they aren’t the same person when they finally get over the mountain doesn’t mean they want to talk about the change forever. And in all honesty, I think being “pretty ok” is a pretty good feeling to have when you look at my track record.

#TheOneLeggedMommy #PrettyOk #Amputee #ItsOkToJustBeOk #RehearsedResponse #Amputation #NecrotizingFasciitis