The Holidays are a magical time of the year. The friends. The family. The spirit. The food. The fun. But for some reason, after you go through some life altering changes, the holidays are a bit different. Not saying they are any less wonderful, but they are different. In both good and bad ways. Let me explain…

After you go through something hard, the holidays seem to have more details than you ever have noticed before. It’s like you’re hypersensitive to everything going on around you. The sights. The smells. The sensations. I don’t know why. But it’s true. You now catch yourself staring at the twinkling lights on the tree a bit more often and you now notice that there are way more blue lights than yellow. You find yourself looking at the already wrapped packages and quizzing yourself on who’s gift it is and what’s inside. You now notice all the intricate details of all the love, laughter & magic going on around you. And while it’s unfortunate that you had to go through an unfortunate circumstance, it’s amazing to be able to see the magic of the season in such clarity! I’m thinking we develop this ability because we know how lucky we are to have another Christmas with the people we love and we don’t want to take a single day, party, or present for granted ever again. Because you never really know what you all have until you come so very close to losing it all so you want to squeeze out every bit of holiday happiness and lock it in your memory box forever.

However there is a sad side to the different. Different means something has changed. Physically. Mentally. Or Emotionally. Something has changed. Maybe this year your Grandma is celebrating Christmas up in Heaven. Maybe you went through a physical change and are now missing a limb. And with that change, a piece of our heart is not where we are this Christmas and that hurts. But you know me and I like to see beyond the bad so I have a theory about the holes we carry in our hearts during Christmas time. I think that maybe, just maybe, our missing piece is still with us during the holidays. They are there in the spirit of the season and that’s why we see the tiny details so much more often. These missing pieces want our holidays to still be wonderful and magical so they make the beautiful & fun details of the holidays catch our eyes in a way they never did before. And it’s kind of wonderful. So when you see that extra sparkle in the tree this year for the first time ever, know that it’s your Grandma calling down from her first Christmas in Heaven to say Merry Christmas. When the snow falls just perfectly on the window sill, know that it’s your mind telling you that the tears you cried this year are coming back to you in such a beautiful form. When you get a pair of Christmas socks for a gift, know, that because you are down a leg, your feet get to be in the holiday spirit two days instead of just one. There is no such thing as coincidences. Things catch your eye and you feel and see and sense things for a reason. I just know it.

So this Christmas, when your senses seem to catch more details than normal, think about who or what it could be giving you that sensation. Your cousin? A friend? A pet? And then not only will you get to enjoy that feeling, you also get to remember someone or something you once loved and held so close to your heart while they were here on earth with you. I don’t know about you, but that seems like a win win to me even if it did some from a loss. So Merry Christmas my friends! May your days be merry & bright! And enjoy the little extra things this holiday season!

XOXO,

The One Legged Mommy

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