So this post is coming at ya in the words of my sister, Jennifer. May be one of my favorite posts to date and I didn’t even write it!!! So take a read and you will find it making its way into your heart too!

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As I sit here trying to find the words Josie asked me to write, I look back on the event that changed not only Josie’s life and her family’s and friend’s, but possible yours as you follow her on her journey and read her words that inspire all. The only way I can sum up this life changing event is to call it a traumatic experience. So how do you define a traumatic experience? A traumatic experience “is any event in life that causes a threat to our safety and potentially places our own life or the lives of others at risk. As a result, a person experiences high levels of emotional, psychological, and physical distress that temporarily disrupts their ability to function normally in day-to-day life.” Looking at that definition I would say that its spot on. Not only to Josie’s encounter, but also to the ones around her who also went through that same encounter but from a different perspective. So let’s talk about the lives of the ones around her where I am involved, her family, and how we reacted to the traumatic event in our own way.

Looking back on that day, all I can remember after receiving the call was how I felt – emotional, upset, stressed, anxious, and tired. There were so many emotions transferred in the many phone calls between family members as time went on. Not only were these phone calls used for updates but also for just being there to talk and help each other understand each other’s experience/feelings. For example, I remember so clearly, to this day, my very first trip down to OSU. My Dad, Grandmother, and older Sister met at my house to make the long & painful trip down to see Josie. I volunteered to drive, understanding that I felt most able to drive in that emotional state. My Dads phone rang, it was my mother. From the way the conversation went on it didn’t seem to be good. But the part that sticks out the most to me is that when my Dad got off the phone and all he said was “be prepared to say your good byes”. I looked at him then in my rearview to where my sister and grandmother sat and all I seen was tears. All I could do while I was trying to keep my focus on the road to get there safely was think “NO this sister is not going to do this to me, I need that “pain in the ass” sister to still be there. So NO, she is not doing this.” But that day I understood, even if words were not exchanged, that I needed to be strong in that car, on that drive, and during whatever life would soon behold. If family members don’t understand each other’s experience, then misunderstandings, communication breakdowns and other problems can result. I truly believe that. Even if we could not understand exactly what each other were going through, we were all aware every that everyone handles these types of traumatic experiences in different ways. And, as time moves on, we find those coping mechanisms to help get us through these days and experiences even if it is 4 years down the road.

Moving forward to today, how do we respond to this event that took place nearly 4 years ago? I will say that from my eyes, as a sister, I treat her the exact same and I give out the same answer that I gave out before she became a survivor on the question “how Josie is doing” – Still A BITCH!…LOL (sorry Mom, I know you don’t want to hear us say this about each other). Yes, that is what I said/say. You read that correctly. Her looks may have changed, but her spirt and feelings towards me are still the same and she still treats me like any sister should. She is honest with me. She argues with me. She is supportive of me. And she still fights with me. You’re probably asking why I still call her that? But really think about it. We have grown up together since those childhood moments and it’s just a way I have learned to coped with the situation. And you have to find that road that works when people constantly ask you if you’re “Josie’s Sister” and “how she is doing.” And it is important that you remember, it is normal for people to respond in different ways to difficult situations. Sometimes people’s responses can clash, as for one person may remove themselves, while the other needs company and wants to talk about it. However, I have just found a different way to deal with the questions, although this can seem quite confusing. But I just went back to the way things where before all this traumatic event started. I went back to being her sister and arguing over small things and still stealing each other clothes even if we do live in separate homes. Josie understands my reasons why I say what I say and respects my response to the situation. And so does my family so what else matters?

You are now probably thinking, “wow Josie’s sister is mean”. But please remember that the Josie I know is different than the Josie you know. I grew up with her, I rode in cars with her jamming out to “Party like a Rock Star”. We pulled either others hair while our mother stood in the middle trying to break us up. We stole each other’s clothes, and I stood by each other’s side on our wedding days. So when hearing unexpected responses from people that has been involved in a traumatic experience, don’t judge them. It’s just the way they are dealing with the situation.

So despite the traumatic reactions, our family looks back and sees that this crises has actually helped us to become closer and stronger. We have stayed positive and encouraging, even if at times, everyone needed to talk about their fears and worries. We remind ourselves that our family get through the hard times and often come out stronger. We see the silver lining.

#TheOneLeggedMommysSister #MyNameIsJennifer #Amputation #ILoveAnAmputee #AmpStrong #Family #NecrotizingFasciitis #SoMuchStronger