So last night my husband and I were filling out some insurance paperwork and the question “are you disabled” came up. We looked up from the paper work and we just stared at each other. We didn’t really know how to answer this question. To the government I am not. I do not collect disability. To a doctor I am. I’m missing a limb and one of my arms isn’t fully functioning. But to me and my husband, the most important people answering this question, I am not. So how can the same thing be seen in 3 different ways? Easily. It’s all about what you are looking at vs who you are looking at. It’s perspective. And having it is huge when you go through big, life changing things.

“Are you disabled?” should not be a difficult question to answer. Yes or No are your only options. Right? But this loaded question is hard to explain in yes or no terms. I understand there are many situations that exist making “disabled” a persons only option and some of them are not visible to the naked eye and to never judge a book by its cover. We never really know what a person is dealing with whether it’s a physical illness or a mental illness. Unless we actually walk a mile in their shoes. We don’t. But in terms of a mindset, disabled is a choice. A choice to work hard and to do your best to be the person you want to be even if a few adjustments need to be made to achieve that vision. Or it’s a choice to hardly work. To expect help but never actually help yourself. To coast through life thinking “this is it. This is what the rest of my life will be and there is nothing I can do about it”. To only consider matter over mind instead of the real thing of mind over matter. And you might not have the physical capability to be the person you want to be physically, but you often have the mental capability. To know who you are whether you have one leg, two legs, or five legs and never stray away from that knowledge regardless of how rough it gets sometimes. To know your worth.

Like I said, “disabled” is a mind set. When you take away all physical characteristics, you can learn a lot about a person. You basically become blind with a very keen sense of hearing. Let’s take a plain old phone call with a total stranger. No modern day FaceTime. Just ear to ear and voice to voice. Just in the way they talk you can get a pretty good image of who they might be. That if you pictured them in your mind during that specific call just by their tone of voice and the spirit they give out, you would never even dream of them being a cancer patient about to undergo another round of chemo or another surgery. Or a 26 year mother of 3 that has almost died and is living life one legged, one hop at a time. They just seemed confident, and capable, and just simply wonderful. They are projecting their mindset that makes everyone, even total strangers aware that this specific person is not “disabled” despite their physical appearance. They are fully capable though they may need a little help and a little extra rest every once in awhile. They have chosen to stay and fight for the life they dreamed of though it doesn’t match perfectly to the life they envisioned for themself yesterday, last week, or even last year. They know that difficult situations arise for everyone out of nowhere, and some will never win their unfortunate circumstance physically, but mentally they know they are in charge. And yes there will be sad days and days you throw yourself a pity party, but never let there be more sad days than happy or just “ok” days. That’s when your mindset becomes “disabled”. And you can be a fully functional human and still have a “disabled” mindset.

Another term for a “disabled” mindset is “feeling sorry for ourselves”. And when we feel sorry for ourselves we expect others to feel sorry for us as well. We are sad so they should be sad too. If not sad for themselves, at least be sad for me. And I’m not talking mental illness “feeling sorry for ourselves” where it’s hard to make our brain feel like it’s happy. I’m talking they were out of my favorite donut at the bakery this morning so now my whole day is ruined so I’m going to be sad and throw myself a pity party. And today was a bad day so tomorrow will probably be the same way and then the next day too. Then all of a sudden you had a “disabled” year because you limited yourself. Limited yourself to only the sad and angry emotions. Emotions we are all entitled to every once in awhile. Not everyday. And it wasn’t just your body, if at all, limiting your day or week or year, it was your mindset. You limited yourself to not reach for the stars because of your bad day. You limited yourself to not reach out to old acquaintances and create new friendships because they were jerks back then so they are probably still jerks now. You limited yourself to not going for that new job because different scares you and mediocre is comfortable. NEWS FLASH! We are all different. Different does not mean bad. Different adds to your skill set, mind set, and perspective. Different makes you more human.

So as I finish rambling here, I have one final thing to say…choose to be “able minded” despite the fact you are undergoing your 15th surgery or confined to a chair. Never let your physical characteristics limit your mentality as you are far to genuine to throw yourself a pity party for more than a day. Chose to make others envision you as confident, strong, and capable on your next phone call with a friend, neighbor, family member, or even a stranger. Defy all odds in your mind so when it comes to your body you have one less thing to worry about. Be the person you set out to be at 15 despite the bumps in the road and adjustments you had to make. It’ll be so worth it. I promise.

#TheOneLeggedMommy #MentalityisEverything #UnLIMBited #IamMoreThanTwoLegs #AmpStrong #Amputee #NecrotizingFasciitis #Capable #Mindset