When do we know that this is it? To brace for impact. That anything after this exact moment will forever be different though we may not physically look different. Our bodies seem to know. Either our adrenaline amps up and we can not feel what we should be feeling or our bodies go into power save mode. So how is it that our minds do not know? That though the tides have changed, our mind continues to move a mile a minute, unaware of the known that is coming for us.

Is it the slow motion, very vivid details that should give us a clue that we are entering the eye of the storm? I can remember every word I exchanged with my care flight team the night I lost my leg. I can remember the twinkling lights. And I can remember my blankets flying everywhere as I was being pushed across the well lit helicopter pad at OSU. When everything was moving a mile a minute and at a snails pace at the exact same time, why didn’t I realize? How did my mind talk me into the best case scenario? Because when you only prepare for the best case scenario, you dont button down the hatches. And you wish you did, because battling the storm is hard work.

Or is it better that we didn’t brace for impact? That we just let our mind shut down and let other people make the decisions for us? As soon as I came off of my care flight, traveled across the helipad with my blankets flying everywhere, into the elevator where I watched the doors shut, I don’t remember a single thing. My world had gone dark from my memories perspective though the world was moving at hyper speed for my husband and mom who were at my bedside. But even though I don’t remember a thing, they said I was chatting away to the ER nurses, surgeons, and ER doctors. However, I’m thankful for the darkness during those 2 weeks. I don’t think I could handle watch my husband and family endure the heart ache that they did on top of losing a limb and undergoing multiple surgeries. My mom has written journal entries about what had happened and offered to let me read it multiple times and I respectfully refuse each and every time. I’d rather not know. The unknown kind of helped me brace for impact this time around.

So how do we notice the ending signs? We don’t. Our mother could have a terminal illness and we could get a life expectancy and still be unprepared for when the Good Lord calls her home. Our best friend could be showing signs of divorce and still be surprised when it actually happens. The winds of change are as silent as they are strong. The best thing we can do is have a strong disaster recovery team. But make sure you are on that team. Don’t rely purely on others around you to pick up the pieces. Though you will never be the same after the hurricane, you can’t blame the hurricane for coming. It’s inevitable. So pick yourself up and prepare yourself for the next storm. And as long as you use the knowledge you gained from the last unexpected impact, I promise the next one won’t be quite as hard, though it may feel like it sometimes. So I guess, in a way, you are prepared for impact. For that next hit in a pitch black room. For the change.

#TheOneLeggedMommy #TidesOfChange #NecrotizingFasciitis #Impact #BraceYourself #HipDisarticulation #FridayFeels #AmpStrong #HitMeLikeAHurricane